I was thinking about writing on this topic since long, but finally Mrs. Shashi Godbole inspired me :). She is not my relative or acquittance, but if you have guessed it then yes, she is the protagonist of hindi movie - English Vinglish. If you have seen the movie then you know where and how does JUDGMENTAL come in picture. Anyways, its a good movie and I am not very keen on discussing about it. Coming back to being judgmental, first question is what does that mean?
Well, each one of us is judgmental in some or other way. Before knowing the person or circumstances of his action, we are ever ready with our judgements - 'He is does not think at all' / 'She is very weird' / 'He does not know what he is doing' / 'She does not know anything' etc etc. These statements sound very familiar even to me and I am sure for each one of you. Not that we actually mean it but then saying so makes us feel one or other way better than the person we are judging. We always think we know better than the person and have better options of dealing with a similar situation. If its so true, then why aren't we all successful and very very happy? Why do we crib or wish for a better life every minute? May be this is because none of us are perfect and each one is unique. We don't think or act alike.
But then all of us love gossip, trust me we do. We catch up to gossip. How would you feel or think if people whom you trust or believe in keep judging you on trivial issues where you might not have control? If you have such people in your life the easiest option you find is ignore them and move on. Coz that way you don't have to face them everyday and listen to their nasty comments. Even if you think on talking to them, you realize there is no point doing that as the person would not understand. He/She might not change and might start judging you more. Gradually this takes a toll on your relationship with that person and soon the relation wades off. Think how many such people might be in your life who gradually moved out coz they thought you would not understand them.
So how not to be judgmental? How does the court judge? It has a set of laws/rules which if broken the culprit is punished. Who created the law book - Our constitution and our great politicians. Our laws keep changing every day as per the need of hour, so why cant we in our everyday life? We as people of a certain society start gauging everyone with certain standards (so called). Everything has to be either black or white / right or wrong. We are human beings not objects or robots who have to lead a pre-decided life like 80-90% of the population does. Why cant we accept that there is scope of grey shade also, there are things that are neither right nor wrong. What is right or wrong? Its all in perception, my right need not be your right or vice-verse. So who are we to judge anyone? Most of us do not have the authority to do that anyways. People do what makes them happy and that could be right or wrong. As long as it is not affecting anyone in a negative way, it is fine.
Each one of us has one aspect of life that we wish not to discuss with anyone, then why bother others with their greys? If somebody shares with you one aspect of his/her life it is because they trust you, they think you can understand the situation they are going through and not to give you another opportunity to judge them. If someone choses not to share anything with you that could be coz they want it to handle on their own or they dont want to bother you with their sob story or may be they dont trust you enough or find you mature enough to understand the situation (may be due to some past experience). It is good, infact better if we just accept the person as he/she is and openly welcome them in our life.
If a girl wears short clothes that does not make her available,
If a guy drinks at parties that does not make him a drunkard,
If a person is of silent nature that does not make him/her arrogant,
If a person is social that does not make him/her wannabe,
If a person is well dressed that does not make him/her high maintenance
If a person takes time to understand and work on things that does not make him/her dumb,
If a person cries out loud that does not make him/her weak
Accept people as they are and let them be themselves
It all comes down to LIVE n LET LIVE...
STOP JUDGING !!!
Well, each one of us is judgmental in some or other way. Before knowing the person or circumstances of his action, we are ever ready with our judgements - 'He is does not think at all' / 'She is very weird' / 'He does not know what he is doing' / 'She does not know anything' etc etc. These statements sound very familiar even to me and I am sure for each one of you. Not that we actually mean it but then saying so makes us feel one or other way better than the person we are judging. We always think we know better than the person and have better options of dealing with a similar situation. If its so true, then why aren't we all successful and very very happy? Why do we crib or wish for a better life every minute? May be this is because none of us are perfect and each one is unique. We don't think or act alike.
But then all of us love gossip, trust me we do. We catch up to gossip. How would you feel or think if people whom you trust or believe in keep judging you on trivial issues where you might not have control? If you have such people in your life the easiest option you find is ignore them and move on. Coz that way you don't have to face them everyday and listen to their nasty comments. Even if you think on talking to them, you realize there is no point doing that as the person would not understand. He/She might not change and might start judging you more. Gradually this takes a toll on your relationship with that person and soon the relation wades off. Think how many such people might be in your life who gradually moved out coz they thought you would not understand them.
So how not to be judgmental? How does the court judge? It has a set of laws/rules which if broken the culprit is punished. Who created the law book - Our constitution and our great politicians. Our laws keep changing every day as per the need of hour, so why cant we in our everyday life? We as people of a certain society start gauging everyone with certain standards (so called). Everything has to be either black or white / right or wrong. We are human beings not objects or robots who have to lead a pre-decided life like 80-90% of the population does. Why cant we accept that there is scope of grey shade also, there are things that are neither right nor wrong. What is right or wrong? Its all in perception, my right need not be your right or vice-verse. So who are we to judge anyone? Most of us do not have the authority to do that anyways. People do what makes them happy and that could be right or wrong. As long as it is not affecting anyone in a negative way, it is fine.
Each one of us has one aspect of life that we wish not to discuss with anyone, then why bother others with their greys? If somebody shares with you one aspect of his/her life it is because they trust you, they think you can understand the situation they are going through and not to give you another opportunity to judge them. If someone choses not to share anything with you that could be coz they want it to handle on their own or they dont want to bother you with their sob story or may be they dont trust you enough or find you mature enough to understand the situation (may be due to some past experience). It is good, infact better if we just accept the person as he/she is and openly welcome them in our life.
If a girl wears short clothes that does not make her available,
If a guy drinks at parties that does not make him a drunkard,
If a person is of silent nature that does not make him/her arrogant,
If a person is social that does not make him/her wannabe,
If a person is well dressed that does not make him/her high maintenance
If a person takes time to understand and work on things that does not make him/her dumb,
If a person cries out loud that does not make him/her weak
Accept people as they are and let them be themselves
It all comes down to LIVE n LET LIVE...
STOP JUDGING !!!
