Thanks to my DL who seeded this thought in my mind. We happened to discuss on this just randomly. Even though my DL is married, she believes in financial independence. I thought once you are married it is ok to be dependent on one's spouse to meet financial needs. When I mentioned her the same thing, she said that she knew about the harmony, symbiotic relationship marriage brings on the plate but financial independence is as much needed. Considering we mostly come from middle class families, where we do not have inherited fortune to splurge on, we definitely have to think on every single penny we plan to spend. I am working for past 6-7 years and one thing I always look forward is the sms I get every month end saying my account is credited with salary for the month. This definitely brings smile on my face :).
I used to think if my spouse was rich I could always ask him for my pocket money (or monthly expenses; assuming I would not be working if I marry a rich guy). But then how rich are we talking about? Considering current inflation rate, even a billion per month would not be enough. Anyways, the possibility of marrying a very rich guy is ruled out as most of us are neither too pretty kinds nor come from an equally rich family and neither do we believe in a prince charming who married a poor girl like Cindrella.
Coming back to financial dependency, these days most of us are educated enough to be employed. Even if we are working, there is always a question of how much are we earning and is that amount enough for us? I mean sufficient enough to pay the bills, buy a house or go for a world tour. These are not the mandatory things to do in life but atleast enough money is needed to keep us going and always have something to look forward to. These days 2 incomes are a must to run the show. How does a working woman contribute to this? Usually girls marry guys who earn comparatively more. So the lady's income is a small contribution to family income. Where does the independence come here?
All money a person earns, gets distributed to meet various needs. Even though the entire salary might be already pre-decided to be spent, but a lady can definitely make an effort to have some left for herself. It could be as small as Rs.100. It gives her the freedom to do whatever she wants with that money. I understand that this number is very small but everybody has their earnings and needs. For some it could Rs.10, 100, 1000, 10000 or 10 lakhs. But the feeling is free and feels the same. It could be spent on lunch with her girlfriends, spa to pamper herself, parlor for a make-over or all time favorite shopping.
This money is just hers, with no questions from anyone (spouse, parent, siblings, kids, friends or relatives) on what she does with it. This gives her better decision making power, sense of confidence and definitely improved self-esteem and self-worth every single time she gets her salary. She does not need anyone to approve how she spends the money she earns (this surely involves responsible spending). I know women who were in a bad marriage because there were kids involved and they could not afford to leave their husbands as they were not earning. On the other had, I have also known women who had the guts to end their bad marriage and move on with their kids as financially they were independent. Definitely freedom gives you the courage to do things on your own.
This reminds me of something my mother told me when I just started working. She said -'Whatever is the situation, dont ever have a joint salary account with anyone, be it your father, husband or me also.' Now I realise how correct she is :)
I used to think if my spouse was rich I could always ask him for my pocket money (or monthly expenses; assuming I would not be working if I marry a rich guy). But then how rich are we talking about? Considering current inflation rate, even a billion per month would not be enough. Anyways, the possibility of marrying a very rich guy is ruled out as most of us are neither too pretty kinds nor come from an equally rich family and neither do we believe in a prince charming who married a poor girl like Cindrella.
Coming back to financial dependency, these days most of us are educated enough to be employed. Even if we are working, there is always a question of how much are we earning and is that amount enough for us? I mean sufficient enough to pay the bills, buy a house or go for a world tour. These are not the mandatory things to do in life but atleast enough money is needed to keep us going and always have something to look forward to. These days 2 incomes are a must to run the show. How does a working woman contribute to this? Usually girls marry guys who earn comparatively more. So the lady's income is a small contribution to family income. Where does the independence come here?
All money a person earns, gets distributed to meet various needs. Even though the entire salary might be already pre-decided to be spent, but a lady can definitely make an effort to have some left for herself. It could be as small as Rs.100. It gives her the freedom to do whatever she wants with that money. I understand that this number is very small but everybody has their earnings and needs. For some it could Rs.10, 100, 1000, 10000 or 10 lakhs. But the feeling is free and feels the same. It could be spent on lunch with her girlfriends, spa to pamper herself, parlor for a make-over or all time favorite shopping.
This money is just hers, with no questions from anyone (spouse, parent, siblings, kids, friends or relatives) on what she does with it. This gives her better decision making power, sense of confidence and definitely improved self-esteem and self-worth every single time she gets her salary. She does not need anyone to approve how she spends the money she earns (this surely involves responsible spending). I know women who were in a bad marriage because there were kids involved and they could not afford to leave their husbands as they were not earning. On the other had, I have also known women who had the guts to end their bad marriage and move on with their kids as financially they were independent. Definitely freedom gives you the courage to do things on your own.
This reminds me of something my mother told me when I just started working. She said -'Whatever is the situation, dont ever have a joint salary account with anyone, be it your father, husband or me also.' Now I realise how correct she is :)
its not mandatory that girl should be earn less than guy...
ReplyDeleteLiked you post & the concept behind it.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree on your thoughts about how middle class people like us need to calculate & spend wisely.
I think the post tells the story from one vantage point i.e of a working women alone. Well, I agree men do have more more financial independence in current society, they can spend on whatever they want coz they earn higher & they inherit their father's wealth however small or big it might be. But is that all? A husband is answerable to his wife about his spending's, It's her money too & she ought to know where it is going. Practically it comes down to limited freedom for husband & wife both i.e your hubby needs to know where the money is going as well. Take the bigger picture: mostly all in metros, middle class people pay for house loan installment, some investment plan, some child plan, some savings for the trip etc etc.
A man also has dreams/hobbies & may wish to spend on them some money, not all. He ought to discuss & plan accordingly with his life partner for sure anyway, so its just limited freedom for both.